All the blogs in the world

So, I read a LOT of blogs. I blame my voyeuristic tendencies that make me fascinated with every little facet of other people's lives. I want to know what makes them tick. I want to know what makes them stop and notice. All the little details that they're willing to share, I'll just soak them right up.
I love it when I can read details that go beyond the polished surface that everyone usually sees. But I'm afraid of actually going there myself. I can't write about all the awful things I actually think. (Which probably aren't all that awful, but you'll never know!) I can't write about the intimate details of an event that really makes the post personal to me... Unless I'm irritated. Then I can go on and on.

I digress.

I'm more fascinated with the blogs I read than the act of blogging. Don't get me wrong. I thoroughly enjoy the narcissistic act of writing all about me and mine and em. I like talking about myself. Who doesn't? But I love even more: reading about you. Whoever you are.
So thanks for stopping by and please comment, so I can find out all about you. I'm embarking on more internet research(stalking) so I can have even more blogs to follow!

Heading into the Weekend

There are lots and lots of things that are swimming around up in this noggin of mine. Here and Now.
Possibilities and not-this-times... Hopes and fears... responsibilities and wants... bills and paychecks...
So many little bits that make up my life are all jumbled up here inside of me. I let some of them out. I keep others in. There is Pain and Healing over in the top left hand corner. Ambition and Procrastination are playing jacks out front. Creativity is sleeping in the back nook and Responsibility is driving a bit erratically after a few too many nights without sleep.
For the weekend: I'm hoping for Stress and Worry to leave, Cleanliness can come and sit a while, and rambunctious, carefree Fun won't be too hard to find.

Summer's coming soon and I'm going to be ready.

Can't post today

Mostly because my thoughts are all over the place. I'm really in and out of sorts. I keep getting distracted. so... if you want something to read check this out .

Out a day

As you may have noticed... or not... I was out yesterday! Monday really threw me for a loop, and I had to take Tuesday to recuperate and recognize more good things in my life. You know, more little happy thoughts had to be gathered and noted. Fuel for the fire. What things do you think of to keep yourself going?
What do you do to regenerate positive energy?
Yesterday was some of the first alone time I've had in a while. To sit and watch it snow. To organize. Clean. Do some laundry. Feel refreshed. Read a book and eat dark chocolate pomegranate candies. That last part was probably my favorite. All wrapped up in my quilt of love.
A pretty good day all topped off with some Castle and snuggling.
I feel much better today.

Up and Down Days

Mondays can be like January. Brand new fresh starts, and depressingly full of responsibility and To-Do lists. Today has been an updown day. I'm excited and depressed all at once. I get to go to costco tonight and go shopping... I have to go home to do laundry. I have an awesome husband to go home and snuggle with. I have a messy kitchen. I have lots of delicious food though! Costco!!! Ice cream and apple beer!
Today I'm going to make an effort to have a really, really good day. I'm celebrating the excellent little things in life.
Up and Down, but more importantly I'm climbing up again.
Back off responsibility. I WILL vanquish you.

Frito Pie

This kind of ghetto, southern, absolutely delicious comfort food... is my favorite.
There's something about the chili soaked Fritos layered with gooey, melty cheddar cheese that just warms my soul. If you've never had Frito Pie before, you're truly missing out on a simple, quick dinner. Or breakfast. Or lunch. I honestly can't think of a time of day that I don't enjoy eating it!
The divine chili flavor with the Frito crunch all mixed together.
I take this to mean I probably shouldn't be eating this at this time of the morning.
But hey. It's better than NOT eating breakfast. . . . Right?

Blue Ball

Yesterday in the post I received a large blue ball. At the time of course it wasn't inflated or anything. I spent about 15 minutes using the extremely squeaky provided air pump to inflate the ball to the recommended 65 cm. Which, may I note, is a lot larger than it sounds. I spent an hour yesterday sitting on it and an hour this morning.
Fairly sedentary activity, and my thighs are KILLING me. Shows how much physical activity I usually get. I'm going to begin to incorporate a slight amount of sitting with good posture, we'll see how that goes. I'll have to work up to sitting on it all day.
I may have to get one to sit/exercise on when I'm watching TV.
Maybe in my future house the only furniture in the TV room will be bouncy balls and treadmills. Yeah. That sounds fun.

Like butta.

I'm going to attempt to make butter chicken tonight. I really hope it works, as I love butter chicken. For those of you who don't know what it is, it's actually an Indian tomato/cream based chicken dish. Super tasty.
Do you know what else is butter?

Garret Hedlund's voice. Her voice is okay. But his? BUTTER.
I think it's going to be a good day.

relaxed

I had a pretty successful weekend. So successful, I'm still convince it's monday. So... I wish more holidays happened on fridays, instead of on mondays. Yeah. Let's move some holidays people!!

blech

It's all gray outside today.
I'm feeling flab and chubby. So I'm buying an exercise ball to sit on at work. I'm not sure if I'll really use this or not, but I'm going to give it a try. Besides, it sounds like fun. And it's blue! Hopefully it will help me keep moving every day, even just a little bit.
In other news, my sister made it out here! YAY! She's not dead on the road! I'm glad she's here, and I hope that lasts... Hear that dear sister of mine? Lets make sure I'm still glad you're here in a few months. :)
Ah family.

Family

My sister should get here today. I hope the weather cooperates.
Also, I think I get to go see a play tonight.
I hope.
It's finally warm in our office... I'm no longer shivering and typing. Thanks engineering dudes for fixing our heaters! We really appreciate it.
I finally have a coat rack. Guess what... I love it!
Also, I'm craving sirloin on a bed of goat cheese and garlic risotto....mmmmm....

Finding light

I don't know if you have all noticed...but I've been mentioning the early morning light a lot here on this little ole' blog. As each morning brightens, my spirit lifts just a bit. This encapsulated the way I feel most days. There's the part that you present to the world that you're comfortable with. It's a nice version of you. It's clean, and presentable. The kind of person your mother wants you to be. And you are that person most of the time.
But some days that part of you that you don't share with too many people just pops out. And you're snarky, rude, generally unhelpful, and quite a bit condescending. Though to be honest that doesn't last too long usually. The dark side recedes and voila! You're a nice person again.
I have to admit that my dark side amuses me and is generally funnier than the nice side.

Riding the bus

So it's finally getting light enough in the mornings that I'm not waiting for the bus in the dark. But with school starting today the bus is crammed full of students and normal people just trying to get to work. So as I sat down this morning on the bus, I ended up by a group of about 5 very young girls who as their very loud conversation would state, were all nursing students. And one of them commenced complaining about how long their school day was. A whole 6 1/2 hours. OH NO! I mean, I'm not technically in the medical field. I'm administrative. And I'm at work for 9 hours a day. Most people are, unless they're working part time, or they have some other excuse. Girl on the bus will have a very rude awakening when she realizes that the profession she's studying usually has 12 hour shifts. OMG. That's like ... Double? Right. Anyway, it just reminded me how sheltered and isolated the life of a student can be. It's also focused with clear cut goals and deadlines. I kind of miss that.

Snow, Snooow, SNOW!

It's really coming down quickly out there. It's been an interesting winter for snowfall here. Mostly because in the three years I've lived here, we've had the most consistent snowfall I've experienced. The consistency of the snow is a quick change though. And today... is light and fluffy with a side of powdered sugar.
So I'm looking forward to going skiing sometime soon. We'll see if it actually happens this year. Just the little hills for me though. I'm definitely not experienced enough to try anything else. You know, I find it so interesting that weather crops up so often in conversation... but realistically we do that, because it's the only thing that really affects all of us. At least when we're not having transcontinental conversations. So for all of you where it's not snowing powdered sugar... Sorry bout that.

Staying Solvent

So this year my goal is to stay solvent. And aware. Not spend too much. But some. And guess what folks!! We're off to a great start! And to celebrate we're planning a night in with Em. :) YAY! It's been SO long since we got to hang out. And also my sister... K is going to be moving in with me and P. We'll see how that goes. Living with family after so long is always... interesting to adjust to. So everyone bear with me okay?
I have to say I'm really loving getting things checked off my lists. Next up? Calling my health insurance... :(

Finished

I love the time between being done with one project and beginning another. It's a perfect moment of peace. And completeness. Which is usually interrupted by a blunt jolt of reality. At home, it's when I finish tidying a room and have yet to step into the next dirty room. At work it's when I finish a task and file it away. I like knowing that at least for a moment whatever it is, is in it's best, most complete form. And I made it that way!
I think what makes it so great is the feeling of accomplishment that helps me begin work on the next huge problem. It's checking things off a list that help me realize there is an end to the list. (Even if there's another list to follow.) At least I'm moving forward and making progress. I need to be better and finding helpful rewards for myself. Positive reinforcement... right?

fMh

*Note: this is my response to a comment on a blog...

emd- {But how do you combat (or ignore or accept) a church culture that tells your boys they can’t cry or wear dresses and they must always be the provider and they should be with women who are dumber than they are and that leadership = men?}

To this I say, your answer is in your question. It’s the culture stereotypes that teach that. Not the church.
I learned in church that my father cries abundantly over things that are important to him.
I learned in school that boys don’t wear dresses. I always envied that.
I learned from my mom that providing doesn’t have a lot to do with your paycheck. Which is why I don’t mind bringing home a larger paycheck than my husband. He doesn’t mind either. The bills are paid either way.
I am just as smart and capable as my husband. I was taught as a child to search for someone as smart as I was. To find someone who enjoys my intelligence. I did.
The leadership that I’ve looked up to were my Young Women’s teachers and the other women around me in Relief Society. All strong women fit to lead, asked to lead and relied on heavily for guidance.
The church is made up of people, and therefore imperfect. church=structure people=content and culture
My brother was delighted with his doll that he (mistakenly) got when he was 7. The following Christmas my other brothers requested and got dolls for themselves too. He was heartbroken when the other boys made fun of Sarah (his doll). My mom explained that not all little boys want to be fathers when they’re little. It’s something they grow into.
Most women would disagree with giving my brother a doll. My mom saw it as an opportunity to teach compassion and responsibility for a family.
Being unconventional can be a good thing. A very good thing.

January

The most interesting thing over the past year has been how close January has always seemed. Whether in the middle of June and it seems like January was just here... or November, and it's just around the corner. For some reason January is always lurking for me. This year I've decided though that I like that about January. Not New Years eve or New Year's Day... I like the quiet steadiness. Everyone is getting ready for spring, even though that's probably still a few months away for us here in Utah. I like that I don't have loads of things asking for my attention. I LOVE that it's getting brighter, earlier and darker, later every day. I like how much hope there is in January. I like the casual get togethers. I like the fact that I can get back to my (almost) regular Thursdays with P and Em soon. There are so many reasons, and mostly I really like the quiet, because my house is cleaner than it has been in a while and the last couple evenings were spent lounging around in the quiet, clean-ish house while P worked on school things. Sort of.
Can the rest of January be spent this way? Please?

The soft side

One of the many wonderful gifts I received for Christmas in 2010 was a beautifully soft pinkish maroon cashmere... and here's where I run into the problem. It's not a sweater. It's not a vest. It doesn't have sleeves and it ties instead of buttons.
I love it, but I'm not sure what to call it.
Also, I'm not 100% on what color it really is. Definitely in the pink family though.
Beyond the issue of receiving presents in VA that we had to ship to UT, because they definitely weren't airplane friendly...the gifts we received were generally dilemma-less. Except for this. But that's okay. I'll revel in the softness and let someone else figure out what it is!

It's Good to be Home

And on the upside I used less vacation days than I planned on using, and spent an extra day away! I'm not really sure how that happened, but I'm really glad I'll have a few extra days to use this next year!
Because of the holiday madness, I've resolved not to travel and do three crazy holiday celebrations more than every three or four years. It's too expensive and hectic. It was a lot of fun though. It just makes me tired... and a little grumpy. I'm ready for just quiet normal life to happen again.
Ready GO!