Grown Ups

Grown Up.

These words seem more alien to me the older I get. Am I done growing? The past tense certainly does imply that I’m supposed to be finished. Done. Complete.

Em has recently been struggling with some decisions that come with being "grown up". And the things that she's having issues with aren't things I feel like I can do now.
I can't move back in with my parents. I can't just drop everything and go back to school. I have bills to pay.

But the thing I struggle with is this:

I still feel like I’m 15 some days. I feel like I’m pretending to be a responsible, bill paying, house cleaning, meal cooking “grown up”.

When does it become real?

I’ve been working 8-5 or some version there of for a while now, paying my own bills, making my own mistakes, and cleaning up my own messes for a while now. It’s the usual. The everyday routine is reassuring and still SO strange. When did this happen to me?

I don't think I'm ever going to be grown up. So there!