Monday, October 18, 2010

Making up.

So a few months ago Em asked me a question. “How do you NOT nag P?”

Now, my sweet hubband and I have only been married for a little over 6 months, and this is an issue that I struggle with all the time. (Note: This is not something that he struggles with, he merely endures it.) I, as a middle child with 7 siblings, am used to nagging. To nag is to make sure whatever it is gets done. Otherwise you would have to do whatever it is yourself. And unfortunately I am not capable of doing the things that P needs to do. (Unlike the things I bother my siblings about…)

Some of these things include papers that need to be written (in a MAJOR way), classes that need to be prepared, clothes that need folded, research that needs to be finished, and waking up so he isn’t late for work.. I’m not saying that my husband is irresponsible or unreliable. I’m not. I’m saying that P has a nasty, awful habit of procrastinating until the last possible moment.

So, how do I deal with this? I nag sometimes.
Some of the time I try to be a respectful adult and remember that he’s an adult and knows that there are some pretty hefty consequences if he doesn’t complete the task.
And the rest of the time (especially when it’s a task for me) I give him a deadline when I ask him to do the task in the first place. (This one works the best. Sometimes.)
And some of the time I remind him that I’m not cuddling with him until he’s done.
(This is a failsafe.)

Mostly though, I just try to stay busy myself. That way P doesn’t have anyone to get distracted by in our tiny apartment.

But to be honest. I do nag P.

The amazing thing is just how long he can take it before he's irritated. Really, truly, amazing.

Hubband? I love you. Sorry about the nagging yesterday. I’ll make it up to you with treats today. Okay?


  1. It's hard not to nag! You have some good ways of getting around it. :)

    I wish I lived closer so you could make me treats! :)

  2. Great that you recognize the family pattern and the desire to ditch it quick! Especially before kids come along. Allowing everyone, insisting that everyone is responsible for their own stuff is a huge life-changing development. Not getting in their way or getting out of their way is a gift of the spirit. (For me it requires prayer.) Mostly if I can stay focused on my own mess, I have plenty enough to occupy my mind. I get in trouble when I, unconsciously, want others to save me from my stuff. Live in the moment--in the present--and do your dishes today :)